When i called your name...

Posted by ansh.... | Posted on 3:53 AM

Since a week we have not met and I kept calling … you know I was missing you so much…I spent my whole time just thinking about you when I walked through the door of our home I realized my whole life has changed. Nobody answered when I called your name there was this completely different person who failed to recognize me. I have been given a FYI that “I am tired of you and cannot be happy with you anymore, I feel suffocated being with you”. I could not understand how to react, I was ready to do everything but still saw my life falling apart. What could have I done as your love has ended but mine still remain…? The fate of my life was decided and whichever way I reacted was misunderstood. The lonely sound of my voice was driving me insane. I was dying somewhere , I did not want to cry , I wanted to  talk , I wanted to tell my part of the story , I wanted one last chance so that I can make everything alright but nobody answered when I called your name.

There was no anger at all, I was shattered, I was just praying that might be once you would understand that the love I have for you was not fake. But one by one the doors were closing, everything we had was tried to be erased you said that goodbye and got away forever. I am still there watching away the trails. I neither could face the lonely days nor the lonely nights. Since then I cry myself to sleep almost daily and I realize that the world has not stopped for my broken heart and then start the struggle of another day. I try to put myself together and try to live the life which someone else has chosen for me, it takes all my strength and gets me tired. What hurts me the most is that having been so close there was so much to say, there was a life to share but the choice I was given was to see you walk away.

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you, it is hard to control my hand tapping your number when only thing that I want is to just hear your voice once, it is hard to deal when I try to find “that loving” you and I am being left unanswered and incomplete, it is hard to make myself understand anything, I keep fighting with myself and then it gets dark and again I cry myself to sleep.

You made up your mind that it was time it was over but I still believe that there were enough pieces of forgiveness. I would not have ever chosen this way which left us miles apart , I hate myself that  for not able to make you feel the same and still having the hope that you will. I could not keep my love unspoken so chose to write. I don’t know if you will ever read this but if you do I just hope that it is not left unanswered. In time I hope you will find what you long for when you finally do you will find it somewhere in my broken heart. I live every moment with the hope that now you will give me a call and tell me that  “Every time you called me I felt it and now when you call my name it will never be unanswered” It has always been about us and it will always be about us…

Breakups do this to you right?? But life is too short to waste on someone who does not understand your worth…God has a better plan for you so chose for yourself..

The heart was made to be broken. – Oscar Wilde

And still if you feel that you cannot move on then make sure that the person you love is in your life J wait for the next post as the story is not over yet…

 “Everyone tells me I should forget about you, you don’t deserve me. They’re right; you don’t deserve me, but what if I deserve you”???

Loads of love

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