When love knocks your door..

Posted by ansh.... | Posted in , , , | Posted on 3:06 AM

17


The strongest emotion out of all, yes it is love...something that I never believed in but I believe in now...trust me it’s an addiction and it sends chills down your spine.

I really wonder that how anyone can love you so much that he makes you feel like the luckiest person on the planet. His presence is a soothing reassurance which makes you feel that you are not alone but he is always there by your side. When waiting for even a single day to meet your love seems so tough. Every single second you miss that person and want to be with him. Someone has quoted it right that “Love happens just once and rest is life” I can vouch by the fact that when you fall in love it seems like there is a kind of magic around Nothing matters the place, the time, the reason, the situation  the only thing that matters is he belongs to you. It changes your life forever and no matter how hard you try but the feeling never goes away.

I cannot deny the fact that ‘HE’ is the best thing ever happened to me because if I do so I will be cheating myself. I really consider myself lucky that I experienced the true bliss of love.

A billet-doux which is long pending…

When I see you darling, in the morning before showers or with your camera clicking pictures in all those uber cute postures I know that you are the most handsome man in the world. I find myself at loss of words I wish I would have been a poet or a writer and could have expressed myself the way I feel about you. It has been an amazing experience for me, when I think of you and the life we have shared. It is lifetime of memories. While writing this I remember thinking of the time when I was in hospital after that terrible accident , You entered the hospital room and just went blank seeing me I was trying to pull all my strength to tell you that I am fine but just cried without saying a word. I looked at you with pride that comes only to those who feel deeply in their hearts and I knew that no one can be luckier than me. I am glad that the accident happened because you made my journey of pain and despair, the most beautiful days of life.  Watching those movies together in hospital, seeing the album that I gifted you which had beautiful memories of ours, your struggle with the hospital staff to make them understand what I wanted to eat (in Jakarta because of language barrier), those sleepless nights because of pain when you would keep telling me that soon we will be out of this place and rock. I remember the day when I saw myself on mirror for the first time after the accident and was rocked with silence, you just held me tight and whispered in my ears that you are the most beautiful girl for me… how can I ever say that the accident was a bad experience.

It is impossible for me to remember a time when you were not a part of me. I have no clue who I would have been had you have not been with me. There is no better way of life I can think of living. It’s just your smile that I need to see when there's no other remedy, you put me together, and you complete me. In time of grief and sorrow I will hold you and take your grief and make it my own. We can together make through the potholed streets of life. I will stand by you through your thick and thin.

I love you, you are every dream, every desire, every reason I have ever had. And whatever is in store for us in the future, every day that we have spent together is the greatest day of my life. I am always yours and head over heels in love with you.

Waiting for a candle light dinner ;) I do deserve a one. And remember my heart is always at your service.

To the people reading this blog....life is too short to hide this strong feeling, make you partner feel very special today and always.  

“They do not love that do not show their love” < By William Shakespeare>

Cheers!!!!
Akansha

When i called your name...

Posted by ansh.... | Posted on 3:53 AM

0



Since a week we have not met and I kept calling … you know I was missing you so much…I spent my whole time just thinking about you when I walked through the door of our home I realized my whole life has changed. Nobody answered when I called your name there was this completely different person who failed to recognize me. I have been given a FYI that “I am tired of you and cannot be happy with you anymore, I feel suffocated being with you”. I could not understand how to react, I was ready to do everything but still saw my life falling apart. What could have I done as your love has ended but mine still remain…? The fate of my life was decided and whichever way I reacted was misunderstood. The lonely sound of my voice was driving me insane. I was dying somewhere , I did not want to cry , I wanted to  talk , I wanted to tell my part of the story , I wanted one last chance so that I can make everything alright but nobody answered when I called your name.

There was no anger at all, I was shattered, I was just praying that might be once you would understand that the love I have for you was not fake. But one by one the doors were closing, everything we had was tried to be erased you said that goodbye and got away forever. I am still there watching away the trails. I neither could face the lonely days nor the lonely nights. Since then I cry myself to sleep almost daily and I realize that the world has not stopped for my broken heart and then start the struggle of another day. I try to put myself together and try to live the life which someone else has chosen for me, it takes all my strength and gets me tired. What hurts me the most is that having been so close there was so much to say, there was a life to share but the choice I was given was to see you walk away.

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you, it is hard to control my hand tapping your number when only thing that I want is to just hear your voice once, it is hard to deal when I try to find “that loving” you and I am being left unanswered and incomplete, it is hard to make myself understand anything, I keep fighting with myself and then it gets dark and again I cry myself to sleep.

You made up your mind that it was time it was over but I still believe that there were enough pieces of forgiveness. I would not have ever chosen this way which left us miles apart , I hate myself that  for not able to make you feel the same and still having the hope that you will. I could not keep my love unspoken so chose to write. I don’t know if you will ever read this but if you do I just hope that it is not left unanswered. In time I hope you will find what you long for when you finally do you will find it somewhere in my broken heart. I live every moment with the hope that now you will give me a call and tell me that  “Every time you called me I felt it and now when you call my name it will never be unanswered” It has always been about us and it will always be about us…

Breakups do this to you right?? But life is too short to waste on someone who does not understand your worth…God has a better plan for you so chose for yourself..



The heart was made to be broken. – Oscar Wilde

And still if you feel that you cannot move on then make sure that the person you love is in your life J wait for the next post as the story is not over yet…

 “Everyone tells me I should forget about you, you don’t deserve me. They’re right; you don’t deserve me, but what if I deserve you”???


Loads of love
Akansha

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